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Is Maria Sharapova the World’s Luckiest Human?

At the latest WTA tour event, in Rome Italy, Maria Sharapova appeared in the finals against a Chinese opponent ranked well below her.  The “Russian” player who has lived all her life in the USA saw her opponent win more points over the course of the match, and served a whopping 10 double faults (twice as many as her opponent). She also had a first serve percentage nearly 10 points lower.  Sharapova’s serve was broken six times by her diminutive adversary, and she lost the first set and the first four games of the second set.  Yet despite her unspeakably woeful play she still won the match, in a third-set tiebreaker, because her opponent spontaneously imploded, suddenly and for no reason playing even worse than Sharapova.

Sharapova’s crazy dumb luck didn’t start in the finals. Before that point, Sharapova was never asked to defeat a single one of the tournament’s top seeds.  Based on the draw, it should have been necessary for Sharapova to defeat both the tournament’s #4 and #5 seeds in order to reach the finals, however not one but both of those top players lost before the round in which they would have faced the Russian. And if not those players, then Sharapova should have seen the #7 and #10, including Italy’s top player on her home court.  But again, both of those players lost before they could down Sharapova, too.

So Sharapova sailed into the finals of a major title without having to play a single really tough match, avoiding all four of the top ten opponents against whom she was drawn prior to the finals, and when she finally faced a top-ten opponent she played much, much worse and still won.  This is why we call Sharapova the luckiest human being on earth. First she somehow manages not just to leave Russia as a child but to land in Florida, where she learns tennis from the world’s top teacher.  Then she cakewalks through her career achieving a top rating by watching other players lose rather than defeating them.

As such, Sharapova is Russia in microcosm.  All illusion, if you look only superficially and quickly you think both are formidable titans.  Look beneath the surface, however, and you find what Russians call a Potemkin Village.

And she, like Russia, doesn’t care.  The final in Rome was interrupted by rain for two hours just after Sharapova managed to survive a match point against her, as her opponent threatened to win the match for a second time. After the match, Sharapova quipped: “I don’t mind rain – actually I like it. One time it helped me a lot, when I won Wimbledon. In the semifinals it started raining when I was down and out against Lindsay Davenport. I was pretty much booking my ticket back home. But when we came back I managed to turn it around.”

She managed to turn it around? What a hoot! She managed to stand on the court while Davenport fell apart like a cheap suit, just as she did in Rome this year.  And a careful student of the game will see exactly the same result in regard to virtually every title Sharapova has ever won in her entire career. Like her fellow Russians, who live in what Transparency International has repeatedly found to be the most corrupt major civilization on this planet, Sharapova isn’t just content with her fraud, she’s proud of it. She finds it hilarious.

Needless to say, fans of professional tennis don’t pay to watch players get saved by rain delays. If the sport were based on the likes of Maria Sharapova, it would have folded its tents years ago.

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33 responses to “Is Maria Sharapova the World’s Luckiest Human?

  1. Manfred Steifschwanz ⋅

    What a silly question, love. The world’s luckiest human is, of course, Kim Zigfeld — or, rather, it used to be that way. This wonderful state of affairs came to a most abrupt halt that fatal moment when Kim Zigfeld found her very handsome Russian fiancé in bed with Sharapova. And thus, as matters stand at present: Yes, Sharapova IS the world’s luckiest human.

    Hearty congratulations to Maria, Russia, and Vladimir Putin!

    • Victoria ⋅

      Handsome russian fiance – manfred, poor pathetic russian/mongolian creature – let me think… a mixture of Khurshczev, brejnev, lavrov, whoops, lavrov is a tibiliskoy ormiashka his real name onana onaniants.. did I miss anybody…….

      • Any interesting toilet dissertations, mccusa?

        • Bohdan ⋅

          Yea comrade Limpdick, the brainwashed Swedish commo deadbeat, you of all people would know best about “toilet dissertations”, as you are so full of it that crap as to be nauseating.

          For a change why not tell us something factual about you beloved communist barbarians that slaughtered innocent citizens, i.e. children, women and men in the tens of millions. Now that’s a thing for you to be proud of and to admire, yea comrade Limpdick?

          What I cannot understand why you live in Sweden, a capitalist country, and yet don’t pack up and emigrate to your beloved fascist ruSSia – which needs propaganda writers of your caliber badly.

          Just imagine the rewards! your title of “Propaganda Minister” Manfred Limppenis highlighted on huge bill boards, well lit up 24 hours a day in all the cities of your beloved communist Russia. Who knows Putin may even make you his right hand man?

          And if all else fails you can try for the KGB. Look where it got Putin.

          • Wrong, Boredan: Putin is MY right-hand man. Any thoughts about your singing career — now that the silly Pshek has joined in here too!

            • Bogdan from Australia ⋅

              Herr Schweinscheiss, deiner Gehirn ist gefikt worden.

              Barin Bohdan is most probably from Ukraine.

              Bogdan (that me) is from Australia and originally from Poland.

              It is like mixing Manfred with Scheissred…

              Switch your brain on…

              P.S: Are you really from Sweden? I was sure you are a former DEGENERATE STASI from DDR.

              • Ever thought of contacting the trash who owns this prodigious blog so as to have the, ahem, “Gargantuan” problem regarding my whereabouts settled once and for all? Being of Pshek descent yourself, indeed what I pointed out earlier today to the silly runt who now parades as “Victoria” also applies with equal vigour to you: Psheks seem to be the most dense people on the planet.

                Schließlich, eine kleine Betrachtung über Arschauland:

                >> Heute gestohlen, morgen in Polen >>

              • Bohdan ⋅

                Must say, Bogdan from Australia, that your comment “I was sure you are a former DEGENERATE STASI from DDR” has a ring of truth about it.

                As I cannot see a Swedish born native expound such insane rants about glorifying communism like Fred Dickhead does, ad nauseum! To mind springs your comment of May 16 at 10.04am, and I quote (with my typo corrections) “…you must be a disgruntled former middle-ranking STASI operative (those high-ranking did rather well) venting your frustration on those who are trying to open your runny eyes.
                I met once such a subhuman creature in Switzerland right after the reunification of Germany.
                Despite having received thousands of Deutschmarks (those better ones) from capitalists and traveling around Europe with his wife in a new BMW, he was virtually foaming with hatred against the new reality.
                You are just like that communist-fascist animal I met; binging on your own quasi intellectual excrement…”

                • Bogdan from Australia ⋅

                  Thanks Bohdan. I still think that Schweinscheiss is a former STASI. He is frustrated and cranky because he is no longer capable of tormenting innocent people and destroying their lives with impunity.

                  Ein Furz von STASI has lost purpose for his miserable life.

                  Hence the constant vomit “it” produces…

                  Sein “Schwanz” is nich lenger steif und er soll Viagra benutzen.

                  Aber nichts seinem toten beschiessen Gehirn helfen kann…

                • What do you know about Sweden, silly Ukro? Ever set foot there?

            • Bohdan ⋅

              You have one big problem comrade Limppenis, which is your detachment from reality and your irrelevant rantings!

              Yes, vegetable swede, you must lead a boring life in Sweden. Ever thought of taking up science fiction writing as a career?

            • Manfred Steifschwanz, cocky Swede
              Most perceptive, great to read
              Witty, cunning, and refined
              Humorous, superior mind
              Language skills around the globe
              Outperforms La Russophobe

              Bohdan/Boredan — hopeless case
              Two big swine — one vile disgrace
              Manfred Steifschwanz got them good
              Ukro-Aussie-Psheks that could
              Barely figure out a thing
              Just like all-out idiot Ming

              • Bohdan ⋅

                Dream on, dream on you wasted space. Your problem is that you have your head stuck up that far up your arse, that all you see is your own rosy, but badly twisted and warped propaganda.

                Next you’ll be telling us that Nazi Germany never lost the war, or that your idol, that mass murderer J. Stalin, was a kindly socialist that never hurt a flea, let alone a human.

                Face the facts Mansewer Limppenis, you are one hell of a wasted space. Or as the old Aussie saying goes “If you were on fire, I would not even waste my time to urinate on you to extinguish the fire!”

              • Manfred Steifschwanz ⋅

                What’s wrong with Nazi Germany from a Western supremacist point of view? To me, Hitler is just another braindeadWesterner. You’re merely spouting worthlesstripe learned by rote. Westerners don’t have the integrity it takes to dispense with the nostrums of their rulers. That’s precisely what fuels my sense of superiority when being confronted by folks of your stature, Bohdan.

                • Bogdan from Australia ⋅

                  Hey swineschwanz, then you would feel best in North Korea. Why don’t you emigrate there?
                  Swedes are also Westerners. Your problem is that you don’t belong to them.
                  Sense of superiority! What pile of crap. You are like a cockroach feeding on cow’s droppings.

                  Med Hilsen fra Australia comrade Scweinscheiss.

                • Bohdan ⋅

                  Your rantings, ravings and outright propaganda remind me of that other imbecile, you know – Adolf Hitler; oops do excuse me – as you undoubtedly will be calling him by his Russian name of Adolf “Gitler” since they, the Russians, do not possess the letter “H” in their cyrillic alphabet!

                  Face up to the hard facts child, and I’m being ‘fair dinkum’ with you, Mansewer Limppenis, you are one hell of a wasted space!

              • Victoria ⋅

                cocky Swede PLEASE don’t flatter yourself – you are a russian/mongolian monrgrel on contaminated russian samogon and high on afghan heroin….

                • Manfred Steifschwanz ⋅

                  Of course a cretinous Pshek — despite a place high up on Pshekistan’s own national IQ scoreboard — doesn’t stand a chance against Manfred Steifschwanz. This is irrefutably proved by the Pshek’s tiresome psychobabble totally lacking any artistic talent whatsoever.

                  Pshekistan = Worthless country, worthless people, worthless faith. May the Psheks all fly to Smolensk and meet their fatal fate.

              • Victoria ⋅

                Note another poem!!!!??…katsap-barakhlo..

                • Manfred Steifschwanz ⋅

                  C’était unpoème, bien sûr, monpetit:
                  “faith” combinedwith “fatal fate”.
                  Any interestingtoilet dissertations, mccus? Besifes:Congrats to you 1 point against the Russians last night!

            • Victoria ⋅

              hey klaine schwaine who botched monsieru putain’s face – that poor pedophile looks more and more pathetic – his speeches are that of retarded baboon – by the way, I am waiting for more information on putains’ baby eurasian union – this idea alone is a proof of putin’s madness…..

              • Manfred Steifschwanz ⋅

                Next to the world’s brightest Pshek, we ALL come out as pathetic, retarded baboons. Have mercy on us, please.

                Besides, apropos Putin’s alleged paedophilia — is he a Catholic? Your own Catholic Boarding School “education” should spring to mind with a vengeance here, right?

                • Victoria ⋅

                  Ruskyi Katsap-Barakhlo – you are hyphonated now dearie – we could also call you vanka-vastanka, pizdnyi -novgorod, or tsar- pruszka or tsar-pizdyuszka….Just odin vopros -volodia putin trakhayed malszykov utrom ili veczerom, volodia’s geroy eto koneszno czajkowski – velikyi ruskiy kompozitor, homo and pedophile – czajkowski trakhal synoviey Madame von Metz….just some historical facts…

        • Victoria ⋅

          for that look at your immediate surroundings, in russia, of course. Wsie znayut szto symbol ruskoy kultury eto kaneszno ‘obosranye ubornye’ …..

  2. elmer ⋅

    Well, I wasn’t sure where to put this, but it seems that Roosha is indeed dying.

    Note that the article states that around Sochi, there is no waste-water treatment plant.

    The Russians don’t care – and the authorities blame people getting sick after swimming in the Black Sea on “food poisoning.”

    http://www.rferl.org/content/black-sea-ecologists-alarmed-by-dolphin-deaths/24591773.html

  3. mingthemerciless ⋅

    Poor Manfred the communist pedophile lover boy, he is still sad to have missed his rendez vous at Muslim Workers’ Youth League (AUF) of the Islamist Labour Party on the island of Utøya…he is positive he would have escaped that awful Andrew Breivik’s bullet broadside and he is sure he would have scored some of this tender jihadi communist youth flesh…

  4. Pingback: Roland Garros Recap: Russian Ruin and Starstruck Sharapova « Dying Russia

  5. L ⋅

    Why is Kim so obsessed with Maria Sharapova? Making a political blog to criticise Putin? Sure, that’s acceptable that but all these Sharapova entries just seem obsessive and more appropriate for a tabloid.

    • Manfred Steifschwanz ⋅

      In my view, Kim’s problem with Maria quite resembles Western supremacists’ problem with Russia / Vladimir Putin: Being stupid, vile, and ugly is no problem as long as the truth can be arrogantly ignored by a self-opinioned coterie (“La Russophobe” and “The International Community”, respectively). Hence, as the success and the accompanying prestige of the adversary in question becomes ever more convincing, your own credibility goes down the drain accordingly.

  6. Bohdan ⋅

    Aah Mansewer Limppenis, the boot is on the wrong foot again! All the trash your shrieking verbal diarrhea has vomited out, only proves the usual, that you are judging everything non communist by your own vile standards. And yet at the same time everything good about wonderful capitalism you heap unto your deranged and imbecilic self.

    Sadly you fall into the category, as the North American aborigines (incorrectly named as Indians by Columbus after his mistaken discovery of a shorter sea route from Europe to India, i.e. no Suez canal) say about liars, “you speak with forked tongue.”

    Would you care to explain why no one else on this wonderful blog shares your delusions of self grandeur, well OK with the miniscule minority of brain dead communists that tend to raise their serpent heads and hence twist the truth about the wonders of communism as practiced by Russia.

  7. Pingback: Sharapova Collapses at the All-England Club « Dying Russia

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